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All I Have

by Three Armed Bandit

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1.
All I Have 05:40
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To survive and to be proud I'm at a loss, it's too late now Oh, I would if there were somehow But I'm at a loss, it's too late now It's all I have It's too late now Broken blue shines through the screen I'm at a loss, I can't believe You can't see me, I can't see me I'm at a loss, I can't believe It's all I have I can't believe In transfer tokens or walking potions One soft yoke or what's left unspoken Was no kiss when we had to go We've loved then lost, now we know Street parade with a hearse in tow We've loved then lost, now we know It's all we have Now we know Reaching out for the faintest glow When you're lost, you'll never know Searching for god through smashed windows When you're lost, you'll never know It's all you'll have You'll never know Fallen idols, broken smiles One half-full vial, I'm past denial It's all I have To survive and to be proud I'm at a loss, it's too late now
2.
Dawn 03:16
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I feel I've been awake so long Standing guard before this dawn Storms and darkness for so long Until sunrise I'm just a pawn Could we return, could we go back to With what I have learned, I wouldn't hurt you Could we return, could we go back to With what I have learned, I wouldn't hurt you I feel I've been asleep so long I lift my head up to a song Me holding love hostage is wrong A simple melody's so strong I'll go out and tell the world, have it wake up to what I sing Of all I have in this world, I'd be lost without my Queen From shadows of the throne, I'll lift my head up to the sun Tell her I'm coming home, hope she'll forgive me for what I have done Could we return, could we go back to With what I have learned, I wouldn't hurt you Could we return, could we go back to With what I have learned, I wouldn't hurt you
3.
Don't Ask Me 05:15
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A young man, lean and strong He's got the looks, got the charm With a pretty little lady leanin' on his arm Old folks say they're goin' strong He tries hard doin' what he can He knows the future like any man Puttin' food on the table, payin' the rent Keepin' good track how the money's spent Just when things start lookin' better Young lady leaves him with a letter Says, love ya hun, but you can't be mine If you ask him why, He says, Oh don't ask me, I don't know Oh don't ask me, I don't know There's a woman livin' on the hill For ten years now she's feelin' ill Once fell in love with a boy named Will He liked her because she took the pill They were young, played the fool Experimental drug hookup after school Tellin' mom and dad little white lies Had a life of fun, never had to ask why Oh Will, did her wrong Broke the lady's heart and moved along She can't see without tears in her eyes Passerbys will ask her why, She says Oh don't ask me, I don't know Oh don't ask me, I don't know The Rose family, friends of mine Ever since I met them they been havin' a hard time Some say it's a sign of this curse put on them back in '09 Mr. Rose led the team Mrs. Rose, she made prom queen They had a child back in '09 Mr. Rose said, hell, it ain't mine! It's true, the babe ain't his But they raise them up good like any kid People talkin' how they're havin' a hard time Well if you ask them why, They'll say Oh don't ask me, I don't know Oh don't ask me, I don't know You all know it's hard to pretend When you have a life once and never do it again Reality's a hammer and it's swinging down hard Nobody wins, this ain't a game of cards But I'd lay a bet on the slightest chance That we'd get along fine if we learned to dance Because grandma said it's the best in the world You'll forget all you troubles, even the girls I take to heart every word she said So I dance to the music playing in my head Start to smile when I'm feelin' fine If you ask me why, I'll say Oh don't ask me, I don't know Oh don't ask me, I don't know
4.
Greywaters 03:35
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Greywaters, cloudy skies There's only fog before my eyes It won't bother me so bad To lose the love I never had If the pot's still warm, I'll pour one more cup Float myself up Take in the view There's not much else to do Greywaters, snails and slugs Been sweeping mud under the rug With no other place to go Between my mirror and that grey window If it's before ten, I'll have one more drink Feel myself sink Use it to grow Into self-control Greywaters, rising tide New moon sets the mood tonight It's so somber I could cry If I knew how I'd still know why If I get restless, I'll just take one more sip Let myself slip Into the flow Breathe in let it go
5.
Home 03:49
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In the ways that we've grown With the little that we know So far but alone In disposable homes I'm shaking, I'm taking it on Regeneration can start with a song We're going to go far Together In whatever In everyway Doesn't matter what they say Doesn't matter what I say We can harvest today We can harvest today We don't always thrive But we know how to live We just have to give Into each day Don't have to be wise Don't have to strong Don't have to be right We're allowed to be wrong It's going to take time So take time to breathe Take hold of me Help me believe We can sing songs Build home together Among all the wrong Inclement weather I'm shaking It's making me laugh Feeling the love There's no holding it back There's still room to grow There's not much to know We're not alone If you welcome me home
6.
Just Stops Time 03:01
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I had a lady She knew my name She knew my sins She knew my shame She took them down To the grave Can't change them now They're in the grave I have a widow She holds my light Watches horizons Stays up all night No one told her I ain't coming back Please, no one tell her I ain't coming back Riding this boxcar Down a long straight line Men fly out the doors somedays It ends their life We can all stare back at That glistening sun Or we can sing and dance Like they never gone Some think death's an exit sign Well they're wrong It just stops time
7.
On The Run 03:40
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Crack an eye open to fresh daylight Guess I went a little far last night Come to my senses, make for the door I ain't welcome in town no more Talkin' about livin' On the run Keepin' up with a settin' sun I oughta be gettin' Movin' on One last kiss, I'll be gone Slipping out from Clear Lake quietly Anyone asks well you ain't seen me I'll stay in hostels and backroom bars Paying with a smile and this guitar Talkin' about livin' On the run Keepin' up with a settin' sun I oughta be gettin' Movin' on One last verse, I'll be gone I've seen the coastlines and everywhere between Every quiet place that I won't be seen I know I won't make it in the end Just long enough to see you again Talkin' about livin' On the run Keepin' up with my settin' sun I oughta be gettin' Movin' on One last night, I'll be gone
8.
Perfect Sign 03:06
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I cannot change you or change your mind I have tried so many times You swim in water, I swim in wine Grown along the same vine If I had the power to transform I'd be the smell of a burning fire I cannot guide us or keep us warm Just leave a faint reminder I need a beacon, a guiding light To break apart this long horizon What I am seeking I never find It's you I set my eyes on If I had an airplane and I could write All my thoughts would fill the sky Then just for a moment while the wind is right I'd leave you the perfect sign
9.
Seasons Change 03:29
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Living on the breeze Dancing in the trees At times like these I just pass on through Though I may stray Like a river winding way Just wait for rain I'll come pouring back for you Like memories and pain Seasons change Then return again With a feeling fresh and clean Like it was yesterday It still hurts to say You're to blame Should have never doubted me Like my mother's frown The sun turns down But comes back around Gentle, warming, sweet Goodness and sin Get tossed to the wind When we forgive Plant tomorrow's seed Like memories and pain Seasons change Then return again With a feeling fresh and new Like it was yesterday Still hurts to say You're to blame Because I never doubted you
10.
Small Comfort 02:34
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Oh no, just what I expected Had a chance, went ahead and wrecked it Rock bottom, but I'm still here All's left gotta face my fears Well that's a small comfort for being flawed That's a small comfort that I just can't beat the odds There's a small comfort waiting, you may never know That small comfort at your lowest low Oh no, just what I expected Missed shot, now I'm gonna regret it It's not the first, no it's not the last At least now it's in the past Well that's a small comfort for being flawed It's a small comfort that I just can't beat the odds There's a small comfort for us past the end It's a small comfort that we'll never say goodbye again
11.
Tandem 04:36
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What I know is you're here with me While I've been staring down I want to put this carefully I can't say it now Who I've always been Who I've always been to you An asymmetric view What I try to send Is this thought I've had before If you could understand it more Please understand for me I feel I'm always confused You're spelled out on the floor I'm turning in this poor excuse I can say no more All I ever do is singing you this song It's simple and it's wrong You'll still sing along We yell in tandem again Like an anti-hero hymn We'll keep on fighting Can you feel that deja-vu? Creeping in on time Re-tensioned stress fills the room Singing it's ugly rhyme You push it up again Then I push us down Round and around It's all downhill from then Riding tandem again With an anti-hero grin We'll keep on fighting
12.
Thinking About You 04:01
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Tonight you're far away And this fight complicates Each time we find a way But for now I love you is all I can say I'm sorry I love you is all I can say I'm thinking about you You won't escape my mind It's trouble without you I hope you know why I'm dancing around you Trying to catch your eye I'd even allow you to see me cry Tonight you're far away And this fight separates I can't describe my childish ways So for now I love you is all I can say I'm sorry I love you is all I can say Could be seasonal timing Or something I don't know Maybe it's hiding Behind the moon shadows I don't know what I mean When I say I love you so I feel like gently fallen snow I've been feeling like gently fallen snow Tonight you're far away And this fight complicates Sometimes I can be brave But for now I love you is all I can say I'm sorry I love you is all I can say Truth can be blinding Still it's hard to know I can put it behind me But it's everywhere that I go If you know what I mean When I say I love you so Please be kind, let me know
13.
This I Know 02:17
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What we sing Is what we sow A warming heart Is what we'll grow We're picking flowers We'll use to throw This I know A song from all An all for one Our burning nights Can wake the sun Light is shining O' where we go This I know Lefts and rights Tos and fros Hugs and fights Fasts and slows If it's familiar We all go This I know Pick a jam or String a bow Play a hammer Make a joke Do the same thing We've done before This I know Leading parts Pretend and play Our different hearts Turn out the same To make some music To make the show This I know
14.
Trouble 02:17
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I'm moving on This is my song That girl's trouble, she's bound to do me wrong Pleasures and pain Driven insane By that girls' trouble, she'll do you just the same That girl's trouble I'm moving on This is my song That girl's trouble, it wouldn't take too long Til my heart breaks Til that girl makes All her trouble turn into mistakes That girl's trouble, I'll be gone before she wakes I'll get along Repeating songs Until I trust them, until it don't feel wrong Work through the pain Work out the blame The girl's in trouble and I'm running away That girl's trouble That girl's trouble That girl's trouble
15.
Waiting For A Storm 03:10
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Stumbling down sidewalks, we're never coming home All we know is we want to never be alone Stars among the ceilings get few and far between We can still imagine what they mean Mom and Dad they tell us we'll get used to it they know Burning light shines from their eyes tells us so much more We have no desire We have no reward We're just burning fires Waiting for a storm Bucking winds and violins carry us along Thunder breaks keep us awake, boots keep drumming on We never concern ourselves with notions of success Trying to find some peace, find some rest Mom and Dad they cry for us to duck and settle down Dimming light shines from their eyes turns us right around We have no desire We have no reward We're just burning fires Waiting for a storm Striking out like lightning through the bottom of the bottle You'll never find us hiding underneath some fallen idols Breaking ground with new flags, our sheets set to the wind An empty spirit jug band battle hymn All they ever tell us is we'll lose it all somehow Open skies and bloodshot eyes, just look at us now We have no desire We have no reward We're just raging fires Facing down a storm
16.
You Are Mine 03:00
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We used to have such a good time Halcyon days Going out and wasting time Everyday When I used to meet you Feeling fine Knowing you are mine I still recall how it started One single night In the cold the tinders glowed It felt right When I used to call you My valentine Knowing you are mine Your heart wanders without me So far from here I'm still feeling you surrounding me How you were near When I used to hold you I would shine Knowing you are mine

about

HELLO THERE, I intend for these songs to live.
The recorded versions herein are not the definitive songs, these are not set behind glass only to be observed. I invite you to strum along, sing along, interact, and play with them. This is how they live, in the moment with and within us.
The production here is sparse intentionally. I am leaving space for you to participate.
The stems are available for remixing, just ask. Add a part, replace something, or write a new song with them! Still, I want to maintain a respect for copyright laws, if only for the sake of working musicians who rely upon them (see the copyright terms below). That being said, set these songs free!
Ultimately, enjoy however you please.

credits

released December 18, 2022

By David G Duston

Mastered by Patrick Hills at Earthtone Recording Company, Sacramento, CA

Recorded off-grid at Raven's Landing, Clear Lake, CA

Photography by Rob Kennedy @betok_photography

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Three Armed Bandit California

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Songs of communication, conflict, and community
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Sacramento, CA

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